Surgery of the Spirit: Crushing Isms
The National Memorial to lynching victims opened last week. Sometimes it feels like the terror of the past never stopped. We just have Smartphones now to expose it. I've sat with heartbroken families and communities as they bury their beloveds today. My gut has gripped in fear that my male kids and grandkids are not safe in America. Yet I am encouraged by a growing willingness to stand in the stark light of what our nation has condoned. To move toward the pain of our truth to start the healing process.
Some in power use race-baiting politics to create scapegoats for the results of their own greed. Some use their beliefs to create either or paradigms and ways of being. These voices say “robotically align with our belief or else.” They say you are either with us or against us, good or bad. Don’t question the pain of others; judge it. Don’t ask or concern yourself with the well-being of your fellow man and woman, oppression is ok. Don’t turn your heart toward your true self and fellow man and woman. Compassion and connection are unrealistic goals.
I reject that. I believe the human soul rejects that. You are more complex than an either or scenario. We did not come into the world like that. All behavior comes from somewhere. People often do what they do not because they feel safe, loved, and encouraged, but because they are simply trying to survive in a disconnected, oppressive system. Not to excuse behavior, but to understand behavior and restore the right to human dignity as our goal of what matters in our society.
The implicit bias project provides data that documents just how insidious a culture of blame, racism, sexism, white privilege, fear and greed is costing us. Take the test. Few to none are immune. 70% of white people taking the test prefer white people and 50% of black people prefer white people. My black gay friend took the test and scored a preference for white straight people. The constant narrative of white, straight, male, and Christian as valuable and everybody else, especially people of color has made a home in our psyche with or without our permission.
What if we admit that we have all been schooled in prejudice. Stop saying you don't see differences. Start asking what do I do with differences because I certainly see them. My brain is wired to see it and our culture has provided a narrative to go with it. Our brains are wired to detect threat and minimize loss. Our brains respond to perceived threat. The images and messages we are subjected to daily invade our spirits, with or without our permission.
Images and media narratives has the power of making the innocent look guilty and the guilty look innocent. These images and narratives suppresses critical thinking. Making it easy for a cop under a perceived threat to shoot black people first and ask questions later.
Just as we have been programmed to associate crime and violence with black people and terrorism with a whole religion we can change. Changing the narrative and the images are within our power. Do you know research has shown that just looking at images of great black men and women on a consistent basis can reduce unconscious bias!
Just as shame, blame, and division is learned. It can be unlearned. We have found the villain in this story and it is not each other The rich and powerful have used class, race, gender, religion, ethnicity, as weapons to divide us. All of us; poor, working-class, upper middle class and rich. NO group is all bad or all good. We are human with the ability to reason, have compassion and fully capable of standing together. To stand together we must unlearn what we are taught through narratives of discord and images of fear. We must feed our souls with new images, true images, new narratives, true narratives.
The unlearning process means it is time to acquire new skills, knowledge, experiences, paradigms, and abilities. Learning new things means soldiering up and opening yourself up to the feeling of vulnerability. I had to open my mind and listen to another human beings who was just as passionate about maintaining their civil war heritage as I was about never again in relation to slavery. We connected in the space of understanding family and legacy.
Civil discourse is key. We may not be able to create “safe” spaces but we can create “brave” spaces where we can connect with love leading. . Growth is painful but always worth it. We have too much at stake not to fight for. The dignity of each other, the safety of each other, our country and the amazing idea that formed America, freedom.
